It is Me

I’m struggling with resentment these days. And now as I write it down, I’m thinking- “Don’t struggle with it, acknowledge it!”

 Hi resentment! I see you!

I know that resentment is a residual effect of my co-dependent childhood. So now that I have everything I’ve always wanted, of course I resent having to “take care” of it all. Manage the lifestyle instead of enjoying the life I put so much blood, sweat and tears into. I remember praying for the life that I have now. On days like this, the resentment overpowers the gratitude, and it’s up to me to tip the scale back to more balance.

I am so grateful for the health and strength I have to create my life, to continue to achieve my goals and to make my life exactly what I want it to be. Because I know it just keeps getting better from here and six months from now, my life will look totally different. So I must cherish these moments because they only last this long- a moment.

Take a step back Racquel. Look at the beautiful garden you have grown. Look at the healthy fruit growing on the vines. Take a step back from the watering, tilling, weeding, the work, and just take in the sight that you have created and grown with your own body, mind, and soul. You are so fertile, so strong, so resourceful. You bring so many gifts to the earth. You are valuable and needed. You are AMAZING! Always remember who you are, who you truly are. Come back to your roots, your mission, your purpose on this earth. Use the love inside your heart, your soul, your bones to remind you of your greatness.

Today, I needed this reminder, and I can always find it inside. In the words of Deepak Chopra, “a successful visionary looks inside, day after day, to find the next step in the path.” And the answers are always there. I always rock myself back to a state of peace like a mother’s arms on a cold winter morning.

Today, I am grateful for me. Every, single, part of me.